The Warmth You Find in Winter
by kasviel
Summary: Tatsuya Himuro/Atsushi Murasakibara. A short romance and character study examining the fallout of the Winter Cup.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**

This story pairs Atsushi Murasakibara (purple hair in the pic above) and Tatsuya Himuro. It's a breezy "friends become lovers" plot that I'm going with this summer, like my "Haikyuu!" fic in the last post. It's also a character exploration with Himuro and Murasakibara. This takes place after the last season (post-Winter Cup), so if you haven't seen the whole series, be aware that there are MAJOR SPOILERS!

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1

With the end of the Winter Cup, the high school basketball players who had played to represent their prefectures returned to normal life. Adrenaline and ambition both receded into hibernation for the season, especially in the snow-chilled prefect of Akita.

Tatsuya Himuro woke up and stretched lazily. He had never gotten used to the low Japanese beds since leaving America, so he had a western-styled one that rose up from the floor. He climbed out of it and crossed the room to peer out the window. They had only been back from the trip to compete for the Winter Cup for two days, but already a heavy snowfall had blanketed Akita in white. Tatsuya sighed, thinking, _I miss California more than ever today._

Nonetheless, the youth went about his daily routine. Though Yōsen High had lost the Winter Cup, he was in good spirits. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he had finally reconciled with his old friend from America, Taiga Kagami. Perhaps it was impossible not to be inspired by what Seirin High School had miraculously accomplished to win the Winter Cup. Whatever it was, Tatsuya felt ready to face the world and the rest of his basketball-playing years head on.

Tatsuya's spirit was dampened when he showed up to practice after school, however. The rest of the team was as quietly determined and inspired as he was, but there was one glaring absence. A six-foot-ten absence, to be precise.

 _Don't tell me he's still sulking?_ Tatsuya wondered with a frown. He wanted to practice desperately, but he skipped it. If he did not deal with this problem now, he knew he might not get a chance to later. _What a pain that guy can be._

Tatsuya went to a local grocery before heading to the suburbs. He bought a bag of things, and was asked by the cashier whether he was planning a party. A little embarrassed, he only said the things were for some kids he knew. On the snowy street, he read the receipt as he walked. _Hell of an expensive friend,_ he noted.

Out in the suburbs, Tatsuya found a fairly large house he had visited a few times before. He knocked on the door. There was no answer. He glanced at the driveway and saw that none of the cars or bicycles belonging to the large family were there. The others were busy with work or afternoon activities, but he knew his friend would be there lazing about. He knocked again, loudly and insistently this time. He heard the heavy footsteps a full half a minute before the door was flung open.

"Oh, it's you," his missing teammate muttered. "Muro-chin. What do you want?"

Tatsuya Himuro was a tall man, standing six feet, but he had to lean his head back to meet his teammate's violet eyes. Atsushi Murasakibara towered over him, face obscured and shadowed by his long, lank lavender-colored hair. He normally had a dull, bored look on his face, but today Tatsuya thought he saw a hint of guarded wariness there. On one cheek, there was the lightest trace of a fading bruise. Tatsuya felt a twinge of guilt when he saw it, and lifted the shopping bag.

"I brought you some snacks," he said affably. Murasakibara instantly reached for the bag, but he whisked it behind his back. "Can I come in?"

"Hm. All right," Murasakibara said in his somewhat drawling way. Though bright when it came to basketball, he was childishly simple the rest of the time. "If you want to."

Tatsuya handed him the bag as he stepped past him into the house. The Murasakibara household was dark and quiet. It was mildly cluttered with the possessions of a seven-person family, but neat-until they reached Atsushi's room. Tatsuya snorted in amusement. He always felt like he was stepping into a tornado-hit wreck when he came in here. There were a few small UFO catcher prizes, some posters on the wall (most hung up a little crooked and over-taped), and many bags and boxes of snacks randomly sitting on the bed, shelves, and the hardly-used computer desk. Empty wrappers filled the trash can, and there were some on the bedside table. Other than the largeness of the bed and furniture, the room looked like it belonged to a child. The huge platform bed was made of thick lumber, crafted to last, and had a lot of pillows stacked on it. As Murasakibara sat down on it among a few childhood plushes, Tatsuya was reminded of the surreal fact that the giant actually was still technically a boy at sixteen; in fact, Tatsuya was the elder of them at seventeen. Murasakibara pawed through the shopping bag and began laying out the snacks on the bed to examine them. _Sometimes he does look like a kid,_ Tatsuya thought. _Just ... a freakishly overgrown one. Even by American standards, he's huge._

"You weren't at practice today," Tatsuya said. He knelt down beside the low bed. "Why did you skip?"

"I told you, basketball isn't fun anymore, and I'm gonna quit," Murasakibara said sullenly. He tore open a bag of chips and shoved several into his mouth, crunching. "I don't want to lose like last time. It feels bad."

"I know, I felt bad, too, but-"

"I'm not gonna play anymore," Murasakibara said mulishly. "It's just a stupid game."

"You don't really feel that way," Tatsuya said. "I know you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have finished the Winter Cup match."

"I just did that because I didn't want to lose," Murasakibara pointed out. "And we lost. And it sucked. I don't want to lose again."

"Then, you have to keep playing," Tatsuya said slyly.

"Haaaah?"

"Quitting because you lost is the biggest failure of all," Tatsuya reasoned. He got up and sat on the bed next to Murasakibara. "It would be like letting Kuroko win against you twice."

Murasakibara actually stopped chewing for a moment. He then licked his lips and swallowed. He narrowed his eyes at Tatsuya. The room was very quiet. Outside, Tatsuya noticed snow beginning to fall again.

"That's an annoying thing to say, Muro-chin," Murasakibara finally said. He put a chip in his mouth slowly. "I'm not going to get stupidly fired up the way you do. But ... I guess I could go to practice. Sometimes."

"Well, that's a start," Tatsuya said. He thought a moment, then shook his head. "What am I saying? Okamura said that I'm going to be Captain once he graduates. I really have to be stricter with you."

"Don't get excited, it's annoying," Murasakibara said. There was a glint in his eyes. "I could crush you, too, you know."

 _He said 'could',_ Tatsuya thought. _He usually says he 'will' crush people._

"You wouldn't crush a friend."

"Are we?" Murasakibara asked very quietly.

"What?"

"Are we still friends, Muro-chin?"

"Uh, of course we are," Tatsuya said, surprised. "Why would you think-"

Tatsuya saw Murasakibara touch his cheek briefly, and understood.

"I can't apologize for punching you, because I'm not sorry," Tatsuya said carefully. He saw Murasakibara frown and his mouth turn downward glumly, and reached out to touch the side of his bruised face. "But, I am sorry that I had to hurt you, Atsushi."

Murasakibara didn't fully understand what Tatsuya was trying to say, but he could tell the other youth felt a little bad. He looked down at his friend, at his unnecessarily handsome face, and was very aware of the warm palm on his face. Blushing slightly, Murasakibara shrugged and resumed eating his chips. Tatsuya withdrew his hand.

"Whatever," Murasakibara drawled. "I hardly felt it, anyway. Your hands are too small."

"They're not small! Anyone's would be compared to yours!"

Murasakibara smiled a little. He had finished the chips, so he opened a box of Pocky. He stuck one in his mouth, letting the coating melt onto his tongue. Tatsuya had taken off his coat by now, and he was fetching his homework from his schoolbag. Murasakibara was glad that Tatsuya had decided to stay over a while, he had been pretty bored after coming home before practice.

"You should do your homework, too," Tatsuya said, opening a book. He settled back down on the bed beside Murasakibara, getting comfortable.

"I don't want to," Murasakibara said in his juvenile way. "It's boring."

"Atsushi." Tatsuya took a candy he had saved in his pocket and waved it in front of Murasakibara. "Eh?"

Murasakibara snatched the candy. " ... Fine."

Tatsuya finished his homework first. Murasakibara struggled, so he helped him. He had been over several times before, and always seemed to end up tutoring Atsushi. Murasakibara had once said that he didn't care about his grades, but he liked the praise the teachers gave him when he had Tatsuya's help. Murasakibara had a bad habit of denouncing almost everything as 'boring', 'unfair', and most strongly, 'stupid', yet the youth's hunger for approval drove him to make an effort. It was a rather complex personality paradox for such a simple man, Tatsuya thought.

"Ahhh, this is stupid," Murasakibara complained churlishly. He put the last Pocky stick in his mouth. "Even basketball is better than this."

"Hey, Atsushi," Tatsuya said. He reached over to take one of the boxes of candy, but Murasakibara pushed him back. It was a light shove, but Tatsuya almost fell back. Annoyed, he forgot what he was going to say, opting instead for, "You can be a selfish brat, you know that?"

Murasakibara only shrugged the remark off.

"How did you get into basketball, anyway?" Tatsuya asked, remembering his original question. "You keep saying it's stupid and unfair, so why did you start playing it in the first place?"

"Well ... when I was a real little kid, there were a lot of games that I couldn't play," Murasakibara said. He crunched the Pocky stick and opened a box of cookies with chocolate dip. "I was too big. I kept hurting the other kids, and they wouldn't let me play with them anymore. But then when I was a little older, they started asking me to play street basketball. Even though sometimes I was dangerous, other kids kept asking me to be on their teams. Even high school kids started to ask me, when I was in the last year of elementary school. All games are stupid and unfair, but basketball is fair for tall people, not against them like all the other games. So I played it."

"You can't expect life to be fair, Atsushi," Tatsuya told him gently. It was a saying he used so often that it had become a personal motto.

"I know, and it's stupid."

"Sometimes it _is_ stupid, but not always," Tatsuya said. "We've had some good moments playing basketball. You're really telling me you haven't enjoyed it at all?"

"No. I only like winning," Murasakibara insisted.

"Being your captain is going to be a real hassle, isn't it?" sighed Tatsuya. Referring to the bamboo training sword she often struck her players with during training, Tatsuya added, "Maybe I'll borrow Coach Araki's _shinai_. Again."

He was only half-joking, and they both knew it. Murasakibara frowned angrily at him.

"I could always crush even you," Murasakibara said through a mouthful of cookie. He reached out and put one large hand atop Tatsuya's head, partly affectionate and partly menacing. "Just don't hit my face again, Muro-chin."

"I don't plan to, Atsushi," Tatsuya assured him. He was surprised Murasakibara was still so upset over the punch; it had been good for him at the time. He lifted the heavy hand off his head and gripped it. "I won't. Okay?"

"Okay."

Murasakibara looked pleased. He squeezed Tatsuya's hand back, and then returned to eating and doing homework. Tatsuya reached up to pat his head, and then stood.

"Since you're almost done, do you mind if I turn on the TV?" Tatsuya asked. "Since we missed practice, it's still pretty early."

"Sure. But don't put on any of those American shows you like," Murasakibara said. "The English confuses me and I hate reading subtitles."

Tatsuya sighed, but resigned himself to putting on local shows. Murasakibara was not easily satisfied, however. He did not want to watch a drama show, and he did not like the anime on at that hour. They debated over channels until they settled on a cooking show.

"Food is the only thing you never call 'stupid'," Tatsuya observed. He had been gifted with one of the bags of chips he himself had bought Murasakibara and sat crunching beside the other boy. "Maybe that's your real passion."

"Mm hm," Murasakibara agreed. "I want to be a pastry chef."

Tatsuya nodded. He had seen Murasakibara bake a cake once. He had expected the man to be clumsy and make a mess of the kitchen, but he was amazingly competent. The only thing he had not been able to do was add decorations with the small tubes of frosting, so Tatsuya had helped him with that. Tatsuya wished that he could get Murasakibara to put that kind of care into his basketball playing-without punching him to do it, of course.

"If you got to go pro at basketball, you could make a lot of money," Tatsuya said. "You could even open your own restaurant one day."

Murasakibara's violet eyes widened at the thought. Then, he gave Tatsuya a reproachful look.

"I'm still not going to get passionate about basketball, Muro-chin," he said knowingly. "It wastes too much energy."

"It was worth a try," Tatsuya said. "What will it take to get you to admit that you do like playing basketball, Atsushi?"

"Stop-" Murasakibara dipped a cookie in chocolate frosting and shoved it into Tatsuya's mouth. "-talking about it, Muro-chin."

"All righ', all righ'," Tatsuya said, struggling to chew the unexpected cookie. He stood up, brushing crumbs off his pants. "I'm going to get some juice."

"Right."

At the doorway, Tatsuya glanced back at his friend. Atsushi had the largest bedroom in the house, due to his size, so he was able to sprawl out in front of the TV comfortably. With his long legs spread out before him straightly, studiously eating cookies and watching the cooking show, he really did resemble a gigantic kid. Tatsuya shook his head with a smile, heading for the kitchen.

When Tatsuya returned to Atsushi's room, one of the cans of cold juice slipped from his hand. It rolled behind a bookcase. He swore, handing Murasakibara the first can. Murasakibara didn't even notice as Tatsuya reached behind the bookcase to retrieve his own can, his eyes were fixed on the cooking show, which was focusing on dessert pastries now.

Tatsuya pulled out the can, and also a book his hand had closed on. He brought both back with him, sat down next to Murasakibara, and opened his juice. After a moment, he idly looked at the book he had rescued from behind the bookcase. It was a manga, he realized, and on the cover-

"Where did you get that?!" Atsushi suddenly burst out. He grabbed the manga out of Tatsuya's hands, pushing him as he did. Tatsuya was knocked flat on his back by the force. "That's mine!"

"Ow! Hey! Be careful," grumbled Tatsuya, sitting up. He rubbed the back of his head, glaring at the bigger youth. "You've got to be more careful, or you really will end up crushing me."

Murasakibara said nothing. He was staring at the manga in his big hands, and his face was a little red. Tatsuya thought about the cover image he had glimpsed, and then realization dawned on his face. Not knowing what to say, he turned to the TV and sipped his juice.

"Hey, Atsushi."

Murasakibara looked anxious. "What?"

"Why do you add '-chin' to people's names?" Tatsuya asked. It was not the question on his mind, really, but he wanted to ease the tension. "You shortened my last name, Himuro, to 'Muro' and added '-chin'. Kuroko is 'Kuro-chin', Akashi is 'Aka-chin', and all the others."

"Oh. That." Murasakibara's face relaxed in relief. "I'm not good at remembering names. So when I was really little, my parents taught me that trick. Whenever I want to remember someone, I make their name simpler, so I can learn it."

Tatsuya nodded thoughtfully. The conversation lagged back into silence. Murasakibara soon claimed an anime he liked was on, and changed the channel. Naturally, it involved food and cooking. They watched together for some minutes. Tatsuya noticed he had the manga still clutched in one hand, as the other scooped a fresh chips into his mouth.

Tatsuya pretended to watch the anime, but he was really trying to figure out the best way to approach the subject of the manga. It was strange to find any sort of book in Atsushi's room, as he preferred visual media over anything else. It was even stranger that the manga was quite obviously from the Boy' Love genre.

 _Well, he never has expressed interest in girls, come to think about it,_ Tatsuya considered. _But he's never expressed interest in guys, either. He's sixteen, and mentally he's even younger than that. I just assumed he didn't think about things like that. Was I wrong?_

"It's not mine," Murasakibara said suddenly.

"Hm?"

"This." Murasakibara held up the manga. He leaned back on his elbows. "Some girl dropped it at school. I was going to give it back to her."

"But you lost is behind the bookcase?"

"Ah ... Yeah."

"You know, it's okay if-"

"It's not mine!"

"Okay, okay!" Tatsuya tried to let it go, but couldn't. He moved to kneel in front of Murasakibara, blocking his view of the TV. "Look, Atsushi, I was in America for a long time."

"I _know_ , I know," Murasakibara groaned. "You're _always_ talking about it."

"I have a point this time," Tatsuya said. _I don't really mention it that often, do I?_ he wondered. "My point is, people weren't so embarrassed about sex over there, not where I lived, anyway. I saw boys kissing on the street, guys wearing women's clothes sometimes, even. So, I'm pretty open-minded."

Murasakibara eyed him suspiciously. As usual when he was thinking over something important or difficult, he frowned deeply. He looked down at the book, face uncharacteristically soft for a moment.

"It was the picture on the cover," he finally said quietly. He handed the book over to Tatsuya. "It reminded me of something."

"What?"

"Nothing." Murasakibara shrugged. "It's stupid."

"Tell me."

"No, it's dumb."

"Just tell me."

"You'll laugh."

"I promise I won't."

Murasakibara heaved a deep sigh. He lumbered to his feet and turned the TV off. His show was over anyway. Tatsuya was flipping through the manga, and he did not look disturbed or embarrassed about it. Murasakibara sat down next to him and resumed eating his chips.

"When I was a little kid, I wanted to be smaller," Murasakibara confessed. "Most kids grow up fastest when they're in junior high school, but I was always very big. Too big. I hurt other kids in games, so even if I won, no one wanted me to play with them. One time, I was playing tag, but I tagged one boy too hard. He fell and broke his ankle. It was the weekend so our parents were there. His father came and picked him up in his arms, like that boy on the manga cover. I thought the kid was stupid for crying so much. He was lucky to still be small enough for his father to pick him up and protect him. I was already too big for that."

Tatsuya was surprised by the depth of the youth's pain. It was easy to only see strength when one looked at Murasakibara; rather, it was difficult to see anything else. The young man did not only have his unnatural height, he was all lean, powerful muscle, despite his eating habits. The childish tendency towards wanton cruelty became menacing in a man of his appearance, and his temper tantrums were frightening. Murasakibara was no gentle giant, so most people were too scared to want to get to know him. Normally, people avoided him at all costs, and no one dared confront him over anything. The only exceptions were Coach Araki, who whacked him occasionally with the _shinai_ she carried to training, and Tatsuya himself.

 _He would never hit Coach Araki back, because she's a woman,_ Tatsuya thought. _He could have hit me back for that punch, though. I'm a good fighter, but I wouldn't stand a chance against him. He didn't even try to fight me back, though. He respected what I said, he even acted on what I told him. Because he's always been so powerful, people stopped treating him like a child too early. He wanted to be picked up and protected by his father, something all little kids take for granted, but he had already physically outgrown such an act. It must have been lonely. Poor kid._

"A girl really did drop that manga and didn't notice," Murasakibara went on defensively. "I was going to give it back to her. But that picture on the cover reminded me of that day. At first, I hated it, because it reminded me how unfair it is that I had to turn out so big. But then I liked the pictures. They let me imagine what it must be like to be small enough to be protected by someone else. So I just kept it."

Tatsuya decided it would be best if he didn't point out the fact that the manga was stolen, albeit passively. He looked at Murasakibara and was amused to see that the youth was blushing vividly. He frowned sullenly and stuffed his mouth full of chips, most likely in an effort to shut himself up. _Atsushi has a real chip on his shoulder when it comes to talking about his feelings,_ Tatsuya observed. _It's probably because no one ever expects someone so big to be sensitive, and when they are, they're usually mocked. So he just stopped letting himself get sad or sentimental._

"I told you it was stupid," Murasakibara muttered self-consciously. He took the manga back and hurled it across the room. It landed back behind the bookcase. "That's why it was there."

"It's not so stupid," Tatsuya told him.

"You should probably leave now," Murasakibara said in his blunt way.

Tatsuya stood, fetching his schoolbag and packing his things in it. Before he got his coat and headed out, he stopped. Murasakibara had the TV on again, but he still looked distracted and troubled. Tatsuya came up behind him and put his arms around the youth's neck. Murasakibara's eyes widened and he scowled.

"What are you doing?" he complained. "Get off me."

Tatsuya leaned over him from behind, tightening his arms around his neck. Murasakibara put a hand on one of his arms, but he did not move to throw him off. Tatsuya's cheek brushed his shaggy lavender hair, and he was close enough to smell the sugar and salt on Murasakibara's lips.

"I might be ten inches shorter, but I'll still protect you if I need to," Tatsuya told his friend. He brushed Atsushi's hair out of his face to get a better look at him. The youth had actually stopped eating for once, and his eyes were stunned. "Just don't expect me to carry you princess-style like that manga, okay?"

Murasakibara laughed a little. He turned his face, and a hand scrubbed across his eyes.

"Now you're being all mushy," he said, voice thick. "You're really the most annoying person in the world, Muro-chin."

Tatsuya decided to annoy him further and pressed his lips to the youth's cheek. Murasakibara squinted one eye, but did not protest. The kiss landed over the faint bruise Tatsuya had given him some days ago. Tatsuya let the kiss linger, then rested his forehead against Murasakibara's. Finally, he ruffled his hair, and stood again. He was about to go, but then his sleeve was tugged hard enough to make him step back.

"Maybe you shouldn't leave yet," Murasakibara said. He blushed, the sullen look returned, and he looked away from Tatsuya-but did not relinquish his sleeve. "I mean, one of those American shows you like so much is going to be on soon, right? If you walk home now, you'll miss some of it."

"Atsushi … "

Murasakibara refused to look at him again. Tatsuya smiled and sat down next to him again. He took his schoolbag off his shoulder and put it aside, turning the TV on with the remote. Murasakibara still wouldn't meet his eyes, but he had a very small smile on his face.

They watched the American drama show for a while. Murasakibara eventually gave up on it, his eyes tired from the subtitles and his ears irritated by the unintelligible foreign language. He grabbed some floor cushions and used them for pillows, lying on his back. Muro-chin lay at an angle, to see the TV, his head rested on Murasakibara's chest. He was uninhibited about physical closeness, even with other guys, a habit which Murasakibara assumed he had picked up in America. Murasakibara knew he should be embarrassed to be this close, especially after Muro-chin had found that stupid manga, but he wasn't. In fact, he liked having Muro-chin touching him.

A long arm draped over Tatsuya. He smiled, reaching back without looking and ruffling Murasakibara's hair. He could tell that Murasakibara was lonely, although he knew the youth would never admit it out loud. When Tatsuya had gotten to Yōsen High and met Murasakibara on the basketball team, the first thing he had noticed was how alone the kid was. Boys were either intimidated by him or jealous of his natural athletic gifts; girls thought he was too slow, too big, and too strange to be a boyfriend. It had been difficult to break through Murasakibara's taciturn attitude, but a few snacks had done the trick. Tatsuya had always had the feeling Murasakibara was more guarded than reluctant about making friends. Given the way people acted around him, Tatsuya couldn't really blame him.

Tatsuya himself was selective about what guys he befriended, but was exceptionally popular with girls. He knew that he was very handsome, as well as being athletically talented, relatively smart in school, and worldly due to his childhood in America. He had many, many numbers on his phone, and he sometimes went out with this or that girl, but he had not gotten attached to anyone yet. He was young and most of his attention was focused on basketball, so he was only interested in easygoing good times. Lying against Murasakibara so comfortably, he mused that there was no reason some of those times should not be with his teammate.

By the time the show finished, Murasakibara's family had (mostly) returned home. They called to him that dinner would be in an hour. Without even asking Tatsuya if he wanted to stay, Murasakibara called back that he would be joining them for the meal. Tatsuya got up to call his parents and tell them where he was. As he hung up, he caught that awkward little smile on Murasakibara's face again.

Tatsuya rubbed Murasakibara's arm affectionately. Murasakibara looked down at him curiously. Tentatively, he touched the side of Tatsuya's face. When he was not rebuked, he leaned down, and clumsily kissed Tatsuya.

"You don't mind, do you, Muro-chin?" he asked, still bent over to keep their faces level. "You kissed me first."

"I did."

Murasakibara smiled and Tatsuya gave him a brief kiss on the lips. He rustled a hand through his hair, and then settled down next to his bed on the floor. Murasakibara put a stick of rainbow-striped hard candy in his mouth and collapsed on his bed. Though it wasn't late night yet, he looked sleepy. Tatsuya never understood how anyone could sleep as a hobby, or would want to, but Murasakibara was serious about his naps. Tatsuya got onto the bed to go over his homework, lying against Murasakibara, while the other dozed before dinner.

Tatsuya noticed Atsushi had fallen asleep with the candy stick in his mouth. He chuckled to himself, taking it from the youth's mouth and putting it in his own. Murasakibara reached out for it instinctively in sleep, but ultimately yawned widely, turned onto his side, and resumed sleeping. Tatsuya put his books aside and stretched out on the bed. He put his arm around the larger teen, and lay close to him. Apparently Murasakibara was unused to sleeping next to anyone, because he stirred and woke.

"Humm? Muro-chin?" he murmured sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Well, you said you always wanted someone to hold you," Tatsuya said.

"S-stop saying such stupid-stupid … "

Murasakibara's voice caught and he turned his face into the pillow. Tatsuya turned his face back forcefully to look at him. Atsushi looked humiliated, his face streaked with tears. Tatsuya held his face in both hands to keep him from looking away again. He wanted to ask Atsushi who had made him so afraid of strong emotions, and he wanted to tell him it was all okay. Instead, he gripped his face tightly, and kissed him. This time, he kissed his mouth fully. Murasakibara sniffed, and kissed him back heartily. By the time Tatsuya pulled back, he had stopped crying.

"No one's ever ... wanted to kiss me before," Atsushi murmured. "Muro-chin, why would you want to? So many girls like you. If you like guys, probably a lot of cute guys would like you, too. So, why?"

"Why not?" Tatsuya said in his typical carefree way. He took a pack of Pocky from the nightstand, opened it, and fed one to his friend. He popped another into his own mouth. "I'm not serious about any girl yet, and I like you. This is nice, isn't it? We can have some fun if we get the chance, right?"

"Well ... Okay, I guess, if you want to," Murasakibara said, obviously trying not to smile. He dried his eyes on his sleeve, as Tatsuya kissed his face. "Just don't make a big deal out of it. It's too much of a pain to be in love or anything like that."

"All right, all right, I won't make a big deal out of it," laughed Tatsuya. He gave the other boy another Pocky stick. "Here. I promise I won't be a pain."

"Hmm. I hope not, Muro-chin. When you're not being stupidly passionate, you're okay," Murasakibara informed him. He paused, chewing thoughtfully. "I like you. Kind of."

"I like you, too, Atsushi," Tatsuya said. He roughly tousled the youth's hair. " _Kind of_."

Murasakibara grinned, and rolled onto his side again. Tatsuya settled down beside him. All too soon, they were called to dinner. Just before they left the room, however, Murasakibara shocked Tatsuya by embracing him.

"I do like you," he repeated. "A-a lot, Muro-chin."

"I like you a lot, too, Atsushi," Tatsuya said softly. "Ha ha, and I ... I love breathing a lot, too."

"Sorry." Murasakibara released him with a sheepish smile. He put a hand atop Tatsuya's head a moment, then opened the door to the room. "Let's go already. I'm starving."

"You've been eating this whole time!" Tatsuya exclaimed. "Do you ever _stop_ eating?"

"Snacking isn't eating. It's different."

Tatsuya shook his head at the flawed logic, but laughed it off. They joined the rest of the Murasakibara household for dinner. The rest of the evening passed into a normal winter night, as outside the snow continued to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

2

The next day, Tatsuya was a little worried. It had taken some doing to become Murasakibara's friend, and even more effort to get the ill-tempered teenager to respect him enough to follow his orders. He had been happy to ease Murasakibara's loneliness, and he genuinely enjoyed being close to him, but he worried that romance, no matter how casual, might ruin their friendship. Then again, they had started off on what might be considered a risque note to begin with, Tatsuya reflected as he took a morning shower.

Upon joining the Yōsen High basketball team, Tatsuya had immediately clashed with Murasakibara. Fresh from America, Tatsuya had been fired up to take Japanese basketball by storm, in order to prove himself someday to Taiga Kagami, who had moved back there first. The Yōsen team was very good, but Tatsuya had been horrified by their star player's lack of ambition. He had asked Murasakibara what his problem was, to which the youth had merely stated his mantra of not liking basketball, only being there to win, and seeing practice as a boring pain in the ass. Tatsuya had sensed the youth had a few screws loose, but he knew that was no excuse for his stubborn laziness, and scolded him harshly for it.

They had argued for weeks, until Murasakibara had finally gotten sick of him and challenged him to a one-on-one match. Though Tatsuya had not known it at the time, Murasakibara had expressed the ideology Seijūrō Akashi had taught him: the weak have no business telling the strong what to do, and so long as the star players won official games, they could do whatever they wanted the rest of the time. That sentiment had infuriated Tatsuya, who had always been secretly insecure about not measuring up to gifted players like his childhood friend Taiga Kagami.

Tatsuya had lost to Murasakibara. It had been the first time he saw the so-called 'Miracle' play, and he had been awed by his monstrous talent. They had stayed late in the school gym for the match, so they were alone. Tatsuya had been wistfully envious of Murasakibara, and even more angry at him for not honing his raw skills. He hated it when people wasted their potential, and Murasakibara had _so much_ potential!

 _'You're a good player, but you're a normal player,'_ Murasakibara had told him coldly. There was no trace of idiocy on that cruel face just then; he had the look of some vengeful titan. _'Basketball is for superior people. You're not good enough, so you can't tell me what to do. If I'm always going to be better than you, I don't have to listen to you.'_

 _'That's bullshit!'_ Tatsuya had shouted at him desperately. It had been a rough game, and he had to pick himself up off the gymnasium floor. _'That's bull, and you know it! I may not stand a chance against you, but my basketball is more polished, it's more calculated. I_ am _better at some things than you!'_

 _'So what?'_ Murasakibara had said callously. _'I still crushed you. So stop getting so passionate, it's making me tired.'_

 _'I could make you a better player, Murasakibara!'_ Tatsuya had appealed to him. _'We could make Yōsen a better team! Don't you want that?'_

 _'No,'_ Murasakibara replied flatly. _'I don't care. I just like winning, and as long as I'm here, we're going to win. Everything else is boring.'_

 _'Boring?'_

 _'I told you, I hate basketball,'_ Murasakibara had said. He yawned and turned his back on Tatsuya. _'I hate you, too. You're kind of fired up about it, and it's annoying. Leave me alone. I'm going home.'_

 _'Is this what the 'Generation of Miracles' are?'_ Tatsuya had growled _. 'A bunch of arrogant, careless, petty, mean-spirited, spoiled brats?'_

Murasakibara had already been walking out, and he ignored the remark. Tatsuya had seen his chance to be on a coordinated, strong team slipping away. Even worse, watching Murasakibara walk away from him reminded him of Taiga leaving him, Taiga going to pursue the life his god-given talents would endow him with, Taiga walking farther and farther out of his reach. Would he always be left behind, simply because his own talents didn't measure up? Would they never measure up to monsters like Murasakibara? If he couldn't keep honing his skills with a strong team here in Japan, he would never catch up to Taiga again.

Tatsuya's eyes had then fallen on the bamboo _shinai_ Coach Araki used during training. Desperate to get his most valuable teammate's attention back, he had picked it up, and went after him. He had not really been out for a man-to-man-child fight, so he had cracked the sword across the other youth's buttocks. Murasakibara had flinched, turning around in shock. He rubbed his backside with one hand, and the other shot out and grabbed Tatsuya by the front of his shirt. He lifted him off his feet, glaring at him. At the time, Tatsuya had been certain he had just committed suicide by striking the giant boy.

 _'Maybe you don't respect the game, but_ I _do!'_ Tatsuya had shouted what he was certain were his last words. _'And damn it, you're going to respect_ me _!'_

Tatsuya had managed to keep his face set as he glared up at the purple-haired young monster. He had faced bullies before, and in America a lot of them were pretty big and rough, but his heart had never pounded like this before. It was not only Murasakibara's size, it was the fact that he was mentally a child; Tatsuya knew that children could be some of the cruelest creatures on Earth. He had just witnessed a glimpse of Murasakibara's power when they had played, he knew the kind of damage the youth could do. Tatsuya only hoped that he would not be injured too badly to play basketball again, before facing Taiga.

To his surprise, however, Murasakibara had dropped him to his feet. He still looked surly, and rubbed his bottom again, but there was little anger in his eyes. In fact, he looked mildly impressed.

 _'What's your name?'_

Tatsuya had been certain he had already told him, but he introduced himself over again.

 _'Muro-chin,'_ Murasakibara had called him for the first time. He had fetched his gym bag, and taken an unopened box of Pocky from it. He opened it, put one in his mouth, and then offered Tatsuya some. _'You're new, huh, Muro-chin? Do you live nearby? Far? I live … '_

They ended up leaving school together, comparing addresses. Murasakibara turned out to live near Tatsuya, so they had walked home side by side. Amazingly enough, Murasakibara had respected Tatsuya after that. This was a blessing and a curse, since the moment the rest of the basketball team found out Tatsuya had leashed their loutish star player, they had unofficially designated him Murasakibara's keeper.

 _And now it's come this far,_ Tatsuya reflected currently. He left home, pulling his hood on as he walked into the morning snowfall. _I hope getting closer to him won't make him stop respecting me. Atsushi's logic can be really messed up sometimes, and he's temperamental. I'd hate for him to turn on me because he's embarrassed about a few kisses._

 _On the other hand, if we're intimate, maybe I can get away with giving him some more spanks. It worked that first time._

Finding Murasakibara on the way to school was always an easy task: he was the tallest person not only in the school, but most likely in the prefecture. Today he wore his winter coat, the hood thrown on over a beanie, and his face was swathed in a scarf. He did not object when Tatsuya joined him, which was a good sign.

"It's cold," he stated the obvious, voice muffled by the scarf. Only his violet eyes were visible between the scarf, hood, hat, and his long hair. "I hate the cold. The cold is only good for keeping ice cream in. There should be ice cream in the snow."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Tatsuya said. He looked up at Murasakibara, then checked to make sure they were alone on the road. "Hey, about yesterday."

"You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" Murasakibara fretted. "I don't want the guys at school to think we're sissies or anything."

"Er-no, no, I'm not going to say anything," Tatsuya said. "You're not angry about it?"

"No, I'm happy," Murasakibara said. He lowered the scarf, revealing a serene smile. "Very happy, Muro-chin. I just don't want anybody at school to know. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Tatsuya put an arm around Murasakibara's shoulders, which forced him to stoop slightly. "It'll be our secret, Atsushi. Right?"

"Ah ha. At school."

Tatsuya wanted to kiss him, but he did not dare. He slipped his arm off his friend's shoulders, and they continued on to school. He was stricken by how fond of Murasakibara he was. The closeness had sneaked up on him, until he could no longer deny that ...

 _I love him, in a way,_ Tatsuya marveled. He looked up at Atsushi, and very quickly gave his hand a squeeze. Murasakibara smiled down at him. _It's different from the way I felt about Taiga, but it's also similar. Taiga was a brother to me first, I loved him like family before anything else. Atsushi was a means to an end originally, just the teammate I had to work with, but he's become a friend. No, he's become something more than that, and it isn't familial. I hadn't been thinking about it, I was too busy dealing with him, but I'm glad we met, I'm glad we're on the same team._

* * *

Tatsuya's affection was tested at practice that afternoon. Murasakibara was lethargic and kept complaining that the gym was cold, without even trying to warm up by practicing. It took Tatsuya spending all his money on the vending machines just to get the youth to pick up a basketball. Once he did, he was complacent to obey Tatsuya's advice, at least. They stayed late, working on passes. Murasakibara thought passing was an unnecessary effort to be left to smaller players, and said as much, but he complied nonetheless. Tatsuya wanted the entire team to strengthen their unused skills, especially their most important ace, Murasakibara. He noticed that for all his whining, Murasakibara was paying close attention to practice. Losing to Seirin at the Winter Cup had brought him to tears, and Tatsuya could see the defeat still stung him. A little humility here and there was good for the youth, Tatsuya reflected, and he was slowly becoming a serious basketball player. _God help whoever plays against him when he hits his prime,_ he thought.

"That's enough, Muro-chin, I'm tired," Murasakibara finally yawned. Tatsuya had thrown the ball over to him, but he just swatted it aside. "I'm going home."

"All right, all right. Here." Tatsuya handed Murasakibara one of the candy bars he had taken to keeping in his pockets (his uniform pockets, gym short pockets, even his coat pockets hid various treats). "You were good today."

"It was boring," Murasakibara grumbled. He bit off the end of the wrapper, then bit into the chocolate bar. "I hate basketball."

"No you don't," Tatsuya said. "You know what I think? I think you feel guilty about loving basketball."

"That makes no sense."

"Yes it does," Tatsuya said. They headed to the locker rooms. "I figured it out when you told me the story about the games you were too big to play as a child. You practically admitted the reason for feeling guilty about it when you said that basketball was biased towards big people, not small ones. You know how it feels to be prejudiced against in a game, so you feel guilty about loving a game that's prejudiced, even if that prejudice is in your favor. That's why you act like a bully sometimes, because it's how you think everyone is in a game that favors them."

"It is," Murasakibara insisted as they entered the locker room. "I'm just honest about it."

"So you admit it, then. You feel guilty about succeeding in an unfair game."

"N-no, I didn't say _that_!" Murasakibara stressed. He stripped off his gym sweatshirt, shoving it unfolded into his gym bag. "Stop using my words against me, Muro-chin."

"Only if _you_ stop being a stubborn brat and talk to me," Tatsuya said. With effort, he turned Murasakibara around to face him. "You know I'm not going to laugh at you or judge you, right? Look at me."

Murasakibara met Tatsuya's black-rimmed gray eyes. When they had first met, Murasakibara had thought Tatsuya was so incredibly handsome that he wanted to punch him. He had been jealous of the older boy, with his beautiful face and the elegant little mole under his right eye and his normal-tall height and his fluency in English. He hated the stylish way Tatsuya's silky black hair fell over his left eye, and how cool he was about everything. As they became friends, however, he came to simply admire him. After yesterday evening, Atsushi felt something else while looking down at his friend. He was wary of strong feelings, as they wasted energy needlessly, but this was a warm, nice feeling. This feeling felt like a birthday cake: the cake was familiar, the same as any other one, but there was always something more special about eating it.

Perhaps spurred by the idea of cake, Murasakibara leaned down and kissed Tatsuya. Tatsuya was surprised, but he met him vigorously. His hands traveled his friend's very long, bare torso, and Murasakibara shivered. Tatsuya used Atsushi's moment of boyishly shy affection to get through to him. He sat Murasakibara down on a locker room bench and stood before him, hands on Murasakibara's shoulders.

"You think it's bad to enjoy something that can be unfair, don't you?" Tatsuya guessed. Murasakibara said nothing, but he nodded minutely. Tatsuya brushed his friend's long hair off his face to get a clearer look into his eyes. "But everything in the world is unfair in one way or another, Atsushi."

"Not good food," Murasakibara interrupted. "Anyone can learn to make desserts and stuff, and anyone can eat them and enjoy them. Sweets are justice."

"Is that some kind of motto?" Tatsuya wondered out loud. He shook his head. "No. I get your point, but no. Some people are diabetic, or have other kinds of diseases or allergies, and they can't eat the things you enjoy. Some people just don't enjoy eating that much. My point is, if you stop enjoying something just because it can seem or even be unfair, you won't enjoy anything at all. Life is unfair, but you can't hate it just because of that."

Murasakibara stood up, thinking as he finished undressing. Tatsuya began to remove his own gym clothes, eyeing Murasakibara's lean body as he did. He wondered how it would feel to have that power tamed beneath him, and what it would take to get the overgrown youth to submit to him wholly.

 _Careful, Tatsuya,_ Himuro mentally warned himself, though he smirked in amusement. _You're getting sadistic._

"It must be sad," Murasakibara said.

"What?"

"Not being able to eat good things, if you're sick," Murasakibara said. "That's depressing, Muro-chin."

"Oh. I wasn't trying to depress you," Tatsuya said. He shut his locker and held Murasakibara by his shoulders. "I just want you to enjoy playing basketball freely,

Atsushi. That's all."

"I-I'm already going to your stupid practice and-"

"And what?"

"And ... doing ... my best," Murasakibara murmured, blushing and looking away from Tatsuya. He pouted, putting one large hand atop Tatsuya's head. "So stop being so annoying."

Tatsuya laughed. Murasakibara looked irritated, but he said nothing. Tatsuya leaned up and kissed him, watching the youth's annoyance fade. He climbed onto the bench to stand atop it, and for a moment was taller than Murasakibara. Atsushi blinked up at him.

"Life is never fair," Tatsuya said. He caressed the youth's shoulders, put his arms around his neck. "But if you keep playing passionately, you deserve to enjoy basketball. Okay?"

"You really love it, huh, Muro-chin?"

"Basketball? Yeah. I do." Tatsuya laughed, running a hand through Murasakibara's hair. "Let me guess, that's annoying?"

"N-Not too much, anymore," Murasakibara muttered. A little bashfully, he put his long arms around Tatsuya's slim frame. "I, um ... It's okay to have some fun playing, right?"

Tatsuya nodded. He stroked the youth's hair, and held his head to his chest. Then he jumped down from the bench, and had to look up at Murasakibara again. He let one hand stroke up and down the other youth's chest.

"Let's get out of here," he said.

"Yeah, let's go," Murasakibara said, fetching his clothes. "I'm starving."

"You're always starving."

"I know."


	3. Chapter 3

3

"Why are your parents on vacation without you, Muro-chin?"

"Well, I still have school, and my father was going to America for a business conference anyway, so they made a holiday out of it."

"Are you going to make dinner, then? Can you even cook, Muro-chin?"

"I'm not the worst."

 _He really is a child,_ Tatsuya reflected as he showed Murasakibara into his home. He had not thought to invite Murasakibara over before, usually preferring to visit at his lively household, but wanted privacy tonight. Murasakibara walked around the place aimlessly, taking the place in as he asked random questions. Tatsuya finally took him by the hand and brought him up to his room.

"Why is your bed so high up?" Murasakibara asked. He threw himself up on it, and the frame creaked ominously. "Huh? Why?"

"Don't jump onto it like that!" Tatsuya exclaimed, wincing as the frame creaked again beneath Murasakibara's weight. "It's Western-style. I can't sleep on low beds anymore, after America."

"You're pretty American, aren't you, Muro-chin?" Murasakibara mused. He drew his long legs up onto the bed, seemingly fascinated with being hoisted up on the lofty mattresses. If he had been small, he would have jumped up and down on it. "Do you miss America?"

"Oh, some things, some times," Tatsuya said. He climbed onto the bed beside Murasakibara, sitting cross-legged in front of him. "I hate having to wait extra time for US TV shows to air and movies to come out. But I've found the important things I left behind here in Japan all over again, so I'm good."

"What important things?" Murasakibara asked. He took a packet of cookies from his pocket and opened it with his teeth. "Like what?"

"Well, Taiga Kagami, for one."

Murasakibara tsked, and Tatsuya raised his eyebrows.

"You don't like Kagami?" he asked. He reached over to pet Murasakibara's head, and added teasingly, "Are you still mad at him for winning over our team in that last game?"

"He's stupid," grumbled Murasakibara. He shoved a cookie into his mouth, and sullenly added, "And his eyebrows are too big."

Tatsuya laughed, and Murasakibara smiled rather maliciously.

"I ... I'll crush him, next time. All of them."

"We'll crush them together," Tatsuya said, humoring him. He sobered a little, surprised by the promise. "Ha. I guess ... I really have found it all over again."

"Something important?"

"Yeah." Tatsuya smiled warmly up at Murasakibara, petted his large head again. "A best friend."

Murasakibara blushed, embarrassed but not displeased. He lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tatsuya leaned over him, looking down into the youth's placid face.

"It isn't so different, with you," Tatsuya told him. "Taiga was quiet and a little sullen, and I wanted to draw him out, just like you. I wanted to protect him, I want to protect you. Maybe I just have a thing for wayward, talented men."

Tatsuya shifted onto hand and knee over Murasakibara. Murasakibara swallowed, feeling a very strange mixture of emotions: excited and nervous, with his heart pounding as if he were in the middle of an important game; embarrassed, like when he was teased at school as a kid; and a little sad, though he did not know why. His body felt very warm, and as Tatsuya put a hand on his chest, he felt arousal light through him. Tatsuya's face was so handsome it almost hurt to look at, and the look in his eyes was so nice, so very nice, unlike any expression anyone had ever looked at him with.

"I want you." Tatsuya held the side of Murasakibara's face with his other hand, his thumb wiping some of the cookie's chocolate filling off the corner of his mouth. "Is that okay, Atsushi?"

Murasakibara really didn't understand why Tatsuya wanted him, and he really didn't care. From the beginning, Tatsuya had not treated him like a monster to get out of the way of, or a dumb child to be placated. At first, Murasakibara thought that was annoying, but when Tatsuya refused to back down, even after losing their one-on-one match, he was impressed. It was sort of tiring being Tatsuya's friend, and occasionally painful (he had, after all, given him that first whack with Coach's _shinai_ , and that punch during the game), but it was worth it. Tatsuya reminded him a little of Kuro-chin, who had always been friendly to him, but Tatsuya didn't treat him as gently as Kuro-chin did. He was honest with him, and he treated him like a peer, which were things Murasakibara rarely got from people. In his heart of hearts, even sullen Atsushi knew having a boy like Tatsuya to challenge him was a good thing.

Besides-he really was beautiful.

"It's okay, Muro-chin," Murasakibara murmured. His face was bright red and felt tingly. He could barely bring himself to meet Tatsuya's cool gray eyes. "Um. I feel that way, too. So it's-it's okay. Tatsuya."

"So, you do remember my full name after all," Tatsuya mused. He bent down over Murasakibara, his lips grazing the youth's. "Well, well."

Tatsuya kissed him. Murasakibara was still a little confused about the mechanics of these open-mouth kisses, but he followed his friend's lead as best he could. It felt good, and Tatsuya tasted good, fresh and slightly of mint. He reached up and put his long arms around Tatsuya's slim, strong body. His body was moving more on its own now, and his pants were very tight at the crotch. One of Tatsuya's legs went over his midsection, and he straddled Murasakibara. He removed his uniform jacket and tie impatiently, then went to work unbuttoning his shirt. He was hard, too, and feeling the bulge pressed against his stomach made Atsushi more uncomfortable.

"W-what should I do?" he huffed. He sat up a little on his elbows, pawing at Tatsuya awkwardly. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Just lie back." Tatsuya pushed Atsushi onto his back again with that natural sense of command of his. "I'll show you what to do, just take it easy. Don't worry. I'm not _that_ much smaller than you, I am six feet."

"I've put bigger guys than you in the hospital, Muro-chin."

"Oh?" Tatsuya removed his shirt, and unbuckled his belt. "I'd like to hear that story."

"It was-"

"Not now." Tatsuya put two fingers to Murasakibara's lips to hush him. "Shhh. Be a good boy and let me show you some things. Okay?"

"Mm-Mm hm."

Tatsuya removed his fingers from his mouth and kissed him. He climbed off of Murasakibara and off the bed to step out of his pants. Murasakibara felt the lack of his warmth instantly, and missed it. He rolled onto his stomach to reach the edge of the bed and pulled Tatsuya nearer, an arm around his waist. Tatsuya turned and casually kissed him on the mouth, the face, the neck. A hand swept down Atsushi's spine, beneath his slacks and briefs, and squeezed his buttocks tightly. His other hand reached beneath Atsushi to unfasten his fly and pull the uniform slacks off. His natural poker face was calm as ever, and his hands were steady and certain.

"Have you done this before, Muro-chin?"

"Ah ... Yeah. A few times. Back in … the US."

Tatsuya finally managed to get the long slacks off completely. He kissed Murasakibara's back between the shoulder blades, stroking his spine. Murasakibara tried to turn over, but he held him on his stomach, told him to stay. He let his hands and mouth explore Atsushi's massive body, entertained by his shudders and the sounds of pleasure he tried to muffle in a pillow he'd grabbed. _He's a nice big boy,_ Tatsuya thought, climbing up on the bed beside him. He kissed the indent at the very base of his spine, and Atsushi arched his back a little. _There's so much of him to play with. It does feel good, taming this one. This must be why people ride bulls back in America: just to be in control of that power for a little while._

"Wait there just a second," Tatsuya said, giving Murasakibara's firm buttocks a casual slap. He climbed down from the bed and went to fetch some things from his dresser.

"Muro-chin?" Murasakibara lifted his flushed face from the pillow. "What are you going to do? Will it hurt?"

"Just a bit, but it won't be so bad," Tatsuya said. He came back, putting a bottle of lubricant and a condom packet on his nightstand. Murasakibara eyed the things warily, so he rubbed his back reassuringly. "Hey, if you want me to stop, all you have to do is tell me to stop."

"No," Murasakibara said quickly. Then, childishly, "I'm not scared."

 _He's only sixteen, and they say he's an idiot,_ Tatsuya thought uneasily. He lifted Murasakibara's heavy head up with both hands, meeting his violet eyes. _But he doesn't act that different from most teenagers when we're like this. Should I patronize him the way I've seen the teachers do? Treat him like he's too stupid to be my peer? I couldn't do that. Besides, when I held him last evening, when I kissed him, he looked so happy. I could feel it, he was happy._

 _No. No, I'm not going to insult him by treating him any differently than that other boy I was with ..._

Murasakibara must have sensed Tatsuya's moment of doubt, because he suddenly looked desperate. He took Tatsuya's hands in his own and leaned his face up to give him a desirous kiss.

"I'm _not_ scared," he insisted, more firmly. "I'm not, Muro-chin."

"It's okay to be a little scared." Tatsuya climbed up onto the bed beside him, lightly running his blunt nails up and down the youth's back. Murasakibara twisted, so his head lay on Tatsuya's lap. A hand groped shyly at him, but Tatsuya slapped it away. "Just a minute. You really want to be with me? And you do get what that means, right?"

"Yeah. Sex. I'm not a little kid, Muro-chin," Murasakibara said reproachfully. "Besides, it was in that manga."

"Was it?"

"Yeah."

Murasakibara launched into a fairly detailed account of a scene. Tatsuya's erection hardened and he had to laugh.

"I guess you do understand," he said. "Hey, how old were you when you kept that manga?"

"Um. Twelve, I think."

 _His height wasn't the only thing that matured fast,_ Tatsuya thought dryly. Figuring that he knew all he needed to (and too aroused to worry about whatever he didn't), he knelt on the bed next to Atsushi.

"Atsushi-"

"Stop talking, Muro-chin!" Murasakibara snapped. His tone was childish, but the hungry impatience in his eyes was quite adult. He rolled onto his back, took Tatsuya by the arms, and pulled him down into a demanding series of kisses. "It's-mmff-boring-and-mm-a pain."

"Mmm, oh, you're a brat sometimes," Tatsuya groaned as he pulled back. Murasakibara kissed him again, ending it in a bite that drew blood from his bottom lip. "Ow!" He slipped down the youth's briefs and slapped one hefty flank. "I'm not a stick of Pocky, you know."

Murasakibara ignored the spank, sat up, and pulled Tatsuya closer. He fervently kissed his neck, his chest, those powerful arms trapping him easily. Tatsuya was overwhelmed by his strength for a moment. He looked slimmer without his clothing, but Murasakibara was still a giant-and endowed as one was expected to be, Tatsuya noted.

"Wait, wait," Tatsuya managed to gasp. He pulled Atsushi's head back by his long lavender hair, which distracted him momentarily. "I just wanted to ask you: you do trust me, right?"

"Of course I do, Muro-chin."

"Okay. Good. I just needed to know." Tatsuya pushed the man down onto his back, climbing over him. He stroked his face, and kissed him. "Now you be a good boy and do what I say, all right?"

"O-kaayy."

And just like that, the overgrown boy became docile. Tatsuya felt a small thrill of conquest, and proceeded to do as he liked with his friend.

* * *

As it turned out, the bed did end up breaking. Tatsuya lay on his back panting, the bed tilted lopsided on a cracked frame and broken leg beneath him. Murasakibara was beside him, having fallen from hand and knee onto his stomach. He lay flat and lethargically still for a while, his mussed shaggy hair covering most of his face. Then one big hand lifted and thumped down onto Tatsuya's chest, startling him. He turned his face to Murasakibara, gripping his hand in his own.

"Hey, Muro-chin."

"Ye-" Tatsuya's breath ran out. He licked his lips and swallowed. Even a docile Murasakibara had been difficult to keep up with; the boy was voracious for a first-timer. "Yeah?"

"Are you gonna make dinner now?" Murasakibara asked. He finally brushed his hair off his face, eyes meeting Tatsuya's. "I'm _really_ hungry now."

"Is- _Is that it_?" Tatsuya asked incredulously. He burst into laughter, wiping sweat from his face, and sat up. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Ha?"

"How was it?" Tatsuya asked. He brushed more of Murasakibara's hair out of his face, though the youth's face had its usual unreadable slack expression. "Did it hurt too much? Did you enjoy it?"

"Um, it hurt a little, and it was kind of weird," Murasakibara said. He shrugged, lying his head on Tatsuya's chest. "But I liked it. A lot."

"Really?"

"Mm hm. Yeah, it was fun," Murasakibara said, turning red. He looked away bashfully. "Don't make such a big deal out of it, Muro-chin."

"All right, all right, I won't annoy you anymore." Tatsuya kissed his forehead. "You really hate talking about your feelings, don't you?"

"It's a pain." Murasakibara looked up at him. "So is being hungry. Do you always starve your guests, Muro-chin?"

"All right, I'll get dinner," Tatsuya gave in. "Just give me a chance to shower first."

Murasakibara groaned, but he was already starting to nod off. Tatsuya lay his head on a pillow and climbed out of the broken bed. By the time he got fresh clothes from his closet, Murasakibara was napping. Tatsuya ruffled his hair and left him.

The house felt wonderfully empty with his parents out of town. Tatsuya walked naked to the bathroom, turning the heat up on the nearest thermostat as he did. He saw snow falling again through the bathroom window, and wondered when it would stop piling up. Once again, he thought of California, but this time found himself contemplating bringing Murasakibara with him.

 _I've been lonely without Taiga,_ Tatsuya thought as he stepped into a hot shower. Steam rose up in the bathroom quickly, forming a warm fog. Tatsuya felt ready for a nap himself as the heat enveloped him, and decided to get take-out delivered instead of cooking. _I always wanted siblings, growing up. I made friends easily, and girls liked me before I even understood how that works, but Taiga was the first person I was truly close to. Since we had that fight and he moved back to Japan before me, I've had this hole to fill. I didn't even realize it, I was so busy with the rest of my life, but it was there. He was difficult, stubborn as a mule, and spoiled by the crazy "do whatever you want" attitude the Generation of Miracles were treated with in junior high school. But his raw natural talent reminded me of Kagami. So did his loneliness. Man, I've become a predictable guy, haven't I? Well, there's nothing wrong with sticking to a proven pattern. I was happy with Taiga, and I'm happy to have Atsushi Murasakibara._

Tatsuya called for delivery, and then went to wake up Murasakibara. It took some doing, but he managed to make him functional by feeding him the rest of the cookies he had opened earlier. Atsushi cleaned up in the bathroom and dressed in the pajamas he had brought in his gym bag for the overnight stay. Still half-asleep, he ambled over to the kitchen, encouraged by the smell of food.

"Where do you get your clothes, anyway?" Tatsuya asked as he served out the delivered meal. "The school uniform must have been tailored for you, right?"

"Ah ha. It was boring, standing still to be measured for so long." Murasakibara ruffled a hand through Tatsuya's damp hair, reaching past him to grab a piece of food out of one container. Tatsuya smelled of fresh soap and shampoo, a clean and refined fragrance that suited him. "The rest of the stuff, my mom orders from somewhere, I guess. I hate shopping-except for food."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a lazy brat?"

"Ah ha." Murasakibara grabbed a dumpling from the carton Tatsuya was serving from and popped it in his mouth.

"At least wait until it's on the plate!"

Murasakibara kissed him, smiled unapologetically, and finally sat down at the table. Tatsuya turned on the _kotatsu_ beneath it, covering his legs with it. The heat made Murasakibara sleepy, but he never fell asleep before he'd had his fill of food.

"Why _are_ you so lazy, Atsushi?" Tatsuya asked curiously.

"Well ... It's kind of not my fault, Muro-chin."

"How do you mean?"

"I told you, I was dangerous when I was around other kids," Murasakibara said. He slurped noodles, chewed a moment, then went on. "So everyone just told me to be really still. In school, at home, it was just better when I did nothing. So I got really good at it."

"At doing _nothing_?"

"Yeah," Murasakibara nodded. He put the vegetables aside from the meat and rice, looking at them with distaste. "My parents were always telling me to sit down, be still, and they gave me sweet stuff to eat when I did, so I did."

"Sugar is supposed to make kids more active, not less."

"Well, I did start playing basketball."

"That's true."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Tatsuya finished eating long before Murasakibara did, but was content to watch him a while. They sat side by side, and finally Tatsuya, woozy from the _kotatsu_ 's warmth and a meal, leaned against Murasakibara's side. Murasakibara didn't stop eating for a moment, but quickly slung an arm around him.

 _Yeah, this is nice,_ Tatsuya thought. _I've found everything I was missing again, and maybe just that little bit more. I'm ... happy._

By the time Murasakibara asked Tatsuya whether he had ice cream or popsicles (he was hot from the _kotatsu_ ), Muro-chin had fallen asleep. Murasakibara smiled affectionately down at him, since no one was around to judge him for being silly. He lay down beneath the edge of the _kotatsu_ next to him. Soon, they were fast asleep together.


	4. Chapter 4

4

The next day, Murasakibara remained over at Tatsuya's house, as he intended to stay the weekend. They shared a simple breakfast, though Murasakibara made Tatsuya cook quadruple the normal portions. They bickered a little over this, and were both slightly moody when they returned to Tatsuya's room. Tatsuya lamented his broken imported bed. He would be too embarrassed to try to lie to his parents about how it broke, so he set about with a drill, screws, and nails to fix it. Murasakibara sat cross-legged on the floor, eating chips and going through Tatsuya's magazines. It irritated Tatsuya that he did not offer to help, but he knew forcing the stubborn boy to work would not be worth the battle.

The doorbell chimed at midday. Miffed to be distracted from his battle to save his bed, Tatsuya stomped down the halls. He opened the door, a hammer still in hand, and his eyebrows raised in surprise. On his doorstep was the unlikely trio of Shintarō Midorima, Takao Kazunari, and Tetsuya Kuroko.

For once, Tatsuya was at a total loss for words. "Uh ..."

"We know, we shouldn't be here," Midorima sighed. "Kuroko insisted."

"We were in town, anyway," Kuroko said in his usual mild way.

" _I_ was in town anyway," Takao chimed in. He grinned, patting Midorima on the shoulder. "Shin-chan followed me-"

"I wasn't following you, and stop calling me that," Midorima bristled.

"Then suddenly we turned around and this guy," Takao nodded at Kuroko, "was with us. Scared the shit out of Shin-chan!"

"No, it didn't," Midorima scowled.

"I was going to talk to Murasakibara," Kuroko explained. "When I saw you two, I figured we could all go together. His family told us he was here."

"So here we are!" Takao said. He pushed past the baffled Tatsuya. "And freezing. Mind if we come in?"

"Yes!"

It was too late, however. Takao strode inside and removed his coat, followed by Midorima and Kuroko. Tatsuya looked up at the tall green-haired, emerald-eyed Shintarō Midorima, and then down at frosty-hued Kuroko. These two were part of the junior high 'Generation of Miracles' basketball team that Murasakibara had also played with. Not only that, but Kuroko was what Taiga Kagami had found for himself in Japan; what Murasakibara was to Tatsuya, Kuroko was to Taiga. _Our first names are almost identical,_ Tatsuya realized. _Tatsuya and Tetsuya. I guess Kagami has gotten as predictable as I have. Are we getting old?_

In Tatsuya's room, Murasakibara did not look very pleased to see his two former teammates, either. Fortunately, Kuroko had brought him some limited edition winter candies from Tokyo that mellowed him out. Tatsuya felt an absurd shred of possessiveness over this, as he was used to being Murasakibara's sole candy provider. Tatsuya let them all catch up, settling back down to the task of repairing the bed.

Takao, left out of the Miracles' reunion, noticed the fractured bed frame. He came over and knelt beside Tatsuya, whistling.

"That's pretty bad," he observed. He snickered, the near-perpetual grin settling on his sly face. He had the kind of face that made you think he was always in on some private joke, most likely one at your expense. "Who in the world did you have over to do _that_ to your bed with?"

Tatsuya coolly met Takao's mischievous blue eyes. He hardly knew the other boy, but from what he had seen of him, he didn't like him. Takao was one of those people who took nothing seriously, and would laugh at you for any reason. The term 'class clown' would have been applied to him back in America.

"Me," Murasakibara replied to Takao's question plainly. "I was over with Muro-chin last night."

Though Midorima and Kuroko had only half-heard this exchange, the point shocked them into silence. Tatsuya gaped over at Murasakibara. Takao's narrow eyes went wide as they could. The room was utterly quiet save for the sound of Murasakibara's crunching.

"A-ATSUSHI!" Tatsuya burst out, for once losing every last bit of his cool. He jumped to his feet. His hand tightened on the hammer and he was tempted to bash his more-than-friend's head in. "What-Why-What-"

Everyone looked at Tatsuya now, more shocked than before. Like most people, they knew Tatsuya for being inscrutable. He turned red at his outburst, knowing it had told them all they needed to know. Murasakibara looked up at him from the floor innocently enough, but was that a gleeful sadism in his eyes? _Cruel,_ Tatsuya remembered, _children can be very cruel. And he did say that he only wanted it to be kept a secret 'at school'. I didn't get the distinction, but I guess there was one. Damn it! I should have been more specific!_

The silence was broken by a snort, and then cackling laughter. Takao stood up and stood between them. Tatsuya considered using the hammer on him instead. Takao looked at Murasakibara, at Tatsuya, and back again. He laughed so hard that he had to sit down on the floor between Murasakibara and his friend and teammate from Shūtoku High, Midorima. Midorima watched his mirth with an aggravated expression.

"H-ha-how is that even physically possible?" Takao laughed hysterically. "You and him? Last night? And you're walking?"

"Takao, sto-" Midorima began.

"I was on top," Tatsuya said before he could rethink it.

Takao's merriment only increased.

"That's incredible!" he exclaimed, barely able to speak from laughing. "But aren't you afraid? I mean, he could probably crush your thing just by clench-"

"Takao!"

Takao turned to Midorima, still grinning, too amused to be checked by the stern snap. Midorima took advantage of his distraction, grabbing him by the wrist and yanking him close. Before Takao could leave the jokes forming in his mind behind to see what was going on, he found himself thrown over Midorima's lap.

"Eh?" Takao blinked, looking over his shoulder at his teammate. "What're you doing, Shin-chan?"

"How many times have I told you?" Midorima said wearily. He straightened his glasses, and then brought his palm slamming down across Takao's upturned bottom. "Don't call me 'Shin-chan'."

"Hey! What? Ow!" Takao protested. He tried to get up, but Midorima was much taller, and easily held him down. The spanking instantly cooled Takao's mocking glee. "Shin-chan, come on, I was only joking! Don't do this _here_ , in front of them!"

"Don't like your own secrets out to be laughed at, do you?" Tatsuya said smugly. He settled back cross-legged on the floor to watch this very pleasing scene. From Takao's phrasing, he could tell Midorima had given him similar discipline before. _Good,_ Tatsuya thought. _That guy needs it._

Murasakibara moved over to sit beside Tatsuya. He gave him a questioning look. _He wants to know if I'm still mad at him for spilling about us being together,_ Tatsuya surmised. _I wonder if he's worried I'll give him the same? I should, that brat. But ..._

Tatsuya stroked Murasakibara's arm, gave him a forgiving smile. Pleased, they watched the flailing Takao's punishment together. Midorima paused a moment, and then removed something from his jacket pocket.

"What are you doing?" Takao asked, still looking over his shoulder. The object struck his bottom, cutting through his pants to deliver a sharp sting. "Aooow! What _is_ that?"

"This?" Midorima held up the wooden ruler for them to see, before cracking it down on Takao's helpless buttocks again. "It's my lucky item for the day."

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Takao cried out in frustration. He actually almost laughed at the coincidence, but then was spanked again. The fates were not kind, and he dared not laugh at them at the moment. "Ugh. Aow! Cut it out, Shin-chan. Isn't it bad luck to use your lucky item for something so sadistic?"

"Not very lucky for you, huh?" Murasakibara drawled to Takao.

"N-no," Takao admitted, struggling not to laugh. He shook his head, exhaled heavily. "Shin-chan, I'm sorry, okay? I was just joking!"

"That's exactly why I'm punishing you."

Takao flinched, saying nothing. Midorima had warned him many times not to joke about crass things-or important things, or serious things, or sad things, or _any_ thing. Midorima had no sense of humor whatsoever, and he had made it clear that Takao's constant laugh grated on his nerves. Takao had earned many a slap on the head, and a few spankings, already, but losing his sense of fun was not a lesson he planned to learn anytime soon. _Not that Shin-chan needs to know that,_ he thought now. His backside was really starting to burn, and he knew he needed to muster up enough contrition to get Shin-chan to-

 _Snap!_

The ruler broke in half across Takao's bottom after a nasty whack. Midorima stared at it in confusion, and then horror. Despite his position, Takao broke into laughter all over again. Midorima glared at him, mortified, but released him after a few open-palm spanks. Takao sat up, leaning on his lower back to keep pressure off his buttocks. He tried to rub the sting out with both hands, his humor waning. He glowered up at Midorima, angry and a little hurt at the rough treatment.

"So ... Are you two also together?" Kuroko asked, his tone absurdly polite.

"No!" Midorima and Takao exclaimed at once.

"More like we have hate sex, once in a while," Takao explained. "When Shin-chan isn't admiring college girls."

Midorima raised a hand, but only lightly punched it down atop Takao's head.

"Too bad for you," Murasakibara told Takao. "Mido-chin is strict and pretty mean."

"Only with unruly brats like you two," Midorima said archly. "Neither of you have taken a single thing seriously in your entire lives."

"Stupid things don't deserve to be taken seriously," Murasakibara said.

"I take things seriously, but I'm not going to let that stop me form having fun," Takao defended himself. "You can only win at life by enjoying it."

"Why am I even here?" Midorima muttered to himself, rubbing his forehead to avoid a headache.

"I only came to talk about basketball," Kuroko said.

"Why?" Murasakibara asked spitefully. "You don't have to talk about it anymore, Kuro-chin, you already won everything. I don't want to talk about basketball with you. I want to crush you."

Kuroko's light blue eyes widened. "M-Murasakibara … "

Murasakibara crossed his arms and leaned back against the tortured bed frame. He did not give Kuroko his snacks back, but he refused to speak to him again. Takao's good humor had not been entirely spanked away; he was kneeling off his bottom, but also teasing an irate Midorima about his broken lucky item.

Thankfully, the visitors did not stay very long.

"I'm sorry," Kuroko apologized at the door. Midorima and Takao had already gone ahead, and Murasakibara was still in Tatsuya's room. "I guess Murasakibara still has issues from the Winter Cup."

"It changed a lot, for everyone," Tatsuya said. Though he did not like Kuroko, he felt a little sorry for him; the youth looked generally disappointed not to have everyone on good terms. "It's not your fault. All our teams, and the 'Miracles' themselves, had cracks in them already. Playing against Seirin's strength just forced us all to face our weaknesses. It was tough, but it was what it was. Yōsen, at least, will come back stronger for it."

"I'm glad," Kuroko said. "How is Murasakibara? I'm glad you're taking care of him, but he still seems upset."

"He's just sulking," Tatsuya said. "He hates losing more than anything, and now he got a good dose of it. He complains, but he's more determined to win again than anyone, deep down. He might never admit it, but I even think he's enjoying having a challenge to rise to. He's going to be just fine. More than fine. That kid is going to be a monster on the court."

"Thank goodness he didn't quit."

"I'd never let him," Tatsuya said. He knew damn well he could not physically force Murasakibara into anything, but he was confident in his dominance over the other youth now. For whatever reason, Murasakibara trusted and respected him; he would do what he said. That security made it easy to ask what otherwise would have been difficult: "How is Kagami doing?"

"He's very happy," Kuroko said. "This is his dream."

Tatsuya heard the affection in Kuroko's voice, that familiar note of attachment. He had expected it to hurt, but it didn't. _Life really does go on,_ he thought. _Thank goodness._

Tatsuya soon bid Kuroko a friendly goodbye. He went back inside the house-no longer his 'new house in Japan', simply his home. With a smile, he headed to his bedroom to cheer up his friend-not a replacement or a surrogate, not anything other than his partner. Like the town covered in snow, his past was buried; like the world after the spring thaw, the past would be rinsed clean, its shape again revealed but also irrevocably altered, a little more worn away. Time really was a fearsome, beautiful thing.

The End


End file.
